Perfection or Seduction

Good Day Peoples!

Lets hit it today with a BMW, Lol yes I have been against them but apparently BMW has a large following worldwide which means my blog will attract some followers.

And that makes me a ‘blog-hoe’, similar to that insta-hoe thingy.

If given a choice, there are 3 things I wouldn’t be able to survive without

  • Cars
  • Music that’s danceable
  • Women – Oh! For Christ sake, I am a guy alright? What’s wrong to do so.

I think I am an artistic person with my choices but sort of been an engineer by trade. Hmmm. How are cars art then?

The new BMW M5. To all the bmwee nerds, yes I know its called a 2018 BMW F90 M5 x-drive ///M, happy?

F90 M5 Front
BMW F90 M5 Front

I am really intrigued by this model. Its been a long time coming. The looks for example are not revolutionary but are edgy. The front three quarters specially, looks like Zac Efron in ray-ban sunglasses. Duh! In my mind.  The back and side profile is typically BMW. Very sleek and understated. The black rims with the gold callipers sold it for me. Ahh! and the marina bay blue colour in proper sunlight is dashing. Did I mention quad tail-pipes?

Getting inside, you are let to breathe into a precisely crafted and laid out Germanic interior. We got to appreciate them for raising quality standards. I mean its just people like you and me who put this together with their skilful workmanship. Touch screen on a tesla looks fun, but small details like the climate control knobs on this are just satisfyingly beautiful. The interior is the best combination of beige and black trim with silvery inserts. Honestly beige in and around the floor is not ideal in monsoon or snowy conditions.

BMW M5 Interior
BMW M5 Interior

Then there is the tech. Of all the big German car brands BMW is known for the nerdy stuff. Its got 69 settings for driver modes like sport and comfort. I mean normal people make use of that number really well.  It has modern gimmicks like a hand gesture to adjust the volume and entertainment controls. Move the car autonomously while you get dressed in the morning. Its all great.

Talking of performance, well it’s a BMW. Its got All-wheel-drive which has an option to become two-wheel-drive, another reason to go sideways on the streets to prove your testosterone. By the way guys that drive or ride fast to attract a mate. Does it work? I haven’t tried that seduction technique. Hola at me, I have to learn.

We went off topic. Sorry.

BMW M5 Rear
BMW M5 Rear

The M5 also comes with a 4.4L twin turbo V8 engine. Power is 600 bhp with torque of 750 Nm. That is crazy but it weighs nearly 2.5 tonnes. For normal context a Suzuki Swift Diesel weighs around 1 tonne. Oh yeah important thing, the M5 doesn’t come with a modern gearbox infact it has an old-fashioned automatic. Apparently an automatic is good for handling torque that’s why busses use them.

So the new BMW M5 is a really really really good car. Artistic? I don’t know.

Ill recite one that exemplifies that

I am a sucker for Italian cars. Please don’t get upset. Its my taste.

The Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio Verde; long lineage of Godparents to look up to. This thing is my dream come true for sure. It’s a car named as a woman, advertised as an emotional device and is something completely out of nowhere. Its existence itself wasn’t expected in the industry.

I don’t know what it is but I come across a red one on my way to work. I get giddy every time I see it. Sometimes its parked in a different location and leaves me upset. Its like that teenage feeling “she didn’t turn up today, damn it”

Alfa Romeo Guilia QV Wheels
Alfa Romeo Guilia QV Wheels

The car is beautiful to my eyes. I know looks are subjective, why do you think I spoke about the BMW ehh ??

The side profile looks bulky yet sweet. The wheels are a signature of all Alfas and they are peppered with beautiful Alfa Romeo calligraphy on the red brake callipers. Lot of birds sacrificed their feathers for sure because it is optional for about 20,000 INR (350 USD). Then the leaf on the frontal region. No its not a marijuana leaf, it called a four-leaf-clover like the name says ‘Quadrifoglio’, that’s the Italian translation for the leaf. It is a mark of the firms racing heritage. Enzo Ferrari also has a thing in that.

Alfa Romeo Guilia Quadrifoglio
Alfa Romeo Guilia Quadrifoglio

The face of the car is pretty striking with a unique V-shaped grille. Its got a cute protrusion for the Alfa Romeo badge. Yummy isn’t it. Overall the front looks aggressive yet soft at the same time, raunchy Giulia !!. The number plate position is not an afterthought. It has been an Alfa tradition for decades.

Lets get around the back. My favourite place you may reckon. Well.. if am asked I would go. “I like the back of my Giulia, bodacious enough to write a song about it and its got a rhythm while riding fast”. Relate that in car terms, the Giulia actually has a curvaceous looking rear. I just took you places right ?? you dirty minds.

Alfa Romer Guilia QV Rear
Alfa Romer Giulia QV Rear

Does it go fast? Yes it does. Its got a 2.9L V6 engine with 500 bhp. Less than the BMW then. Its not the same category of car so. The engine is connected to an automatic or manual gearbox depending on your wallet. The Giulia is known for being faster than a BMW M3, actually it demolishes the beemer. Plus it drives like a woman doing the Ice-ballet, smooth and precise on the extreme edge. I love the upshift gear changes, it barks every time you change. It is as good as a driving pleasure as it is to taste your favorite desert. Hard to describe the sound on paper but it has a rasp and a burble. Am not eloquent in my bike knowledge but Yamaha (MT-09) makes a 3-cylinder cross plane engine. It sounds very similar to the Alfa in a particular rev range.

The interior is not going to set up quality standards but it has that exquisite Italian spirit. When I say spirit I mean things might fall off anytime. It is charming. There are no straight lines, its all swirly. The entertainment screen is not boxy like all other cars but tucked into perfectly in surrounds of leather and carbon fibre. The whole interior for that matter has a good mix of leather, plastic and suede making it a snug place to relax because the car has a setting called bumpy-road. This setting certainly wont’t spill your cappuccino.

Alfa Romeo Giulia QV Interior
Alfa Romeo Giulia QV Interior

Some may say its Italian and will be useless on reliability. Well the top selling diesel car in India has a Fiat made engine. Isn’t that reliable? Oh God! Alfa is owned by Fiat.

There is something special about the Giulia, something that cannot be described. Even if it has issues I wouldn’t care. Its just different and it stands next to the best.

Let me tell you how.

It is called Alfa Romeo. The word alfa goes like

  • Anonima (anonymous)
  • Lombarda (Lombard- Italian region)
  • Fabbrica (factory)
  • Automobili (car)

The remaining part is as poetic as Romeo & Giulia

Yet there is nothing anonymous about the car. Somehow it is a definition of raw fetishism. Its amateur and not perfect. It is purely honest and seductive. It can transport people and do shopping duties on the side. And just the way I introduced my post its got feminine character, it can dance the way I’ve described and it’s a car.

The Giulia has an edge over the BMW. Lot of people love BMW’s, some have even claimed that the German car is like intimacy…. really?

Well if that is the case then the Giulia… “you see me I be twerk twerk work work work…” woo.. I just realized I am ruining your lent season…imagine that never happened.. pffft…this new age of human rights ! You cannot even arrive at work and compliment on your female colleagues dress code..

Okay if both these cars were girls. German one. There are no details to described it as one. No person is 100% perfect relative to a given criteria. There is laughter and quirks in a human being.

Whereas miss Giulia exudes a human character. How ??

Alright hand on heart. How many of you reading this would wholeheartedly buy the BMW over the Giulia? Be honest!

I am definite and will confidently bet that 99% will say BMW. That means the Alfa is naturally flawed. What does that say?

Alfa Romeo Badge
Alfa Romeo Badge

So if the Giulia was a girl I could go like “you can be my amore, I will be your signore”. It is a practical Italian car meaning the human version would do cooking and be fashionable simultaneously. Unlike those #nomakeup #nofilter botox b*tches.

The BMW conquers all the quantifiable aspects of the car. If something can be made possible using technology, its all there. Design as expected. Quality as per the price tag. Its achingly perfect. It is a well-appointed instrument. A millennials dream pretty much.

But a millennial is an amateur unrefined version of a human being right? So… doesn’t that make the Giulia art ? cheers !!